This is in reply to a discussion posted on the Facebook group CBE Houston. Link to that discussion is Are girls that much different than boys in behavior? Discuss....
Wow, Aaron. I agree, you seem to have put an awful lot of thought and effort into your comment. Nevertheless, I must disagree with your conclusions, and yours, Celina. @GeraldFord, I appreciate your bringing up the topic of neuroplasticity, as I think it's extremely germane to this whole discussion. I debated whether to post what I did, as I knew it might stir up a virtual hornet's nest of disagreement, but I have been silent for a long, a very long time now, and I believe it's more than time to speak up, so I did.
Wow, Aaron. I agree, you seem to have put an awful lot of thought and effort into your comment. Nevertheless, I must disagree with your conclusions, and yours, Celina. @GeraldFord, I appreciate your bringing up the topic of neuroplasticity, as I think it's extremely germane to this whole discussion. I debated whether to post what I did, as I knew it might stir up a virtual hornet's nest of disagreement, but I have been silent for a long, a very long time now, and I believe it's more than time to speak up, so I did.
To answer the questions (as briefly
as I can, not an easy task for me) - it is both. That is, my views on this
topic began as suspicion, progressed to opinion, but are not now mere
unsupported opinion. Rather they are predicated upon a lifetime of grief,
suffering, questioning, searching, study, prayer, more study, more prayer,
answers, research, revelation -- and understanding at last, so that when I make
a comment as I did here, it is not shallow nor flip, but represents many years,
decades of thought and deep searching. I don't have time nor space here to
write an autobiography, but I will unequivocally state that my opinions now, on
this topic, are informed by what I believe is direct insight and revelation of
the Holy Spirit, undergirded by personal experience, observation, and by increasing evidence of
scientific investigation and solid research.
Stereotypes are so hard to overcome.
And I never asked nor wanted to be in the position of some kind of trailblazer
or pioneer. Yet I know how some of the early abolitionists must have felt, or
even those in the last century working against slavery and the Jim Crow laws
following the emancipation of the slaves, trying to convince people there was
no intrinsic difference between black people and white. To this day, there are
people who will argue until they fairly expire that the races simply have
innate differences that can't be denied, although of course we now know that
isn't true.
In the same way, I know many people
think and will argue otherwise, but it is actually not "proven
science" that there are any intrinsic non-biological differences between
people attributable solely to gender, anymore than it was "proven
science" a generation ago that there were significant non-biological
differences between the races.
Interestingly enough, I've noticed
that those identifying themselves as egalitarians who argue most vehemently in
favor of recognizing some kind of innate gender differences are often those who
either fit the traditional gender stereotypes themselves, or just happen to
like the romantic notions of those stereotypes and want to preserve them, while
at the same time wanting to eliminate the inevitable results of believing in
those intrinsic differences, which of course include hierarchies based on
supposedly inherent traits. But that's like trying to have the cake and eat it
too.
With ongoing research, particularly
in the field of neuroplasticity, which @GeraldFord alludes to in his comment,
there actually are increasing numbers of better designed studies coming out
that do disprove what has previously been taken for granted to be
"science." Prior studies didn't actually measure innate differences
at all, but the rather the results of expectations, cultural conditioning and
socialization, which does indeed begin before birth, particularly when, as now,
parents may know the gender of their child before s/he is even born.
New research into neuroplasticity
even questions the conclusions of studies on supposed anatomical differences in
the brains of males and females as it is now known that behavior can indeed
influence brain structure and activity, as @GeraldFord mentioned, so brain
differences previously thought immutable may now be legitimately questioned as
results of culturally constrained behavior leading to neurological changes. The
good news is that what was changed once, may be changed again.
This subject could (and has) fill
books, already written and waiting to be written. I've thought of writing one
myself. And as a professional internet researcher, I absolutely revel in
references, so I'll list a few in case anyone would like to read them. Trying
to limit myself here!
PSYCHOLOGICAL/MENTAL/EMOTIONAL
BIOLOGICAL/PHYSICAL/PERFORMANCE
Motorcycle riding: "The Gender Difference Makes No Difference"
GENERAL
"The Brain That Changes Itself:" ... "The discovery of neuroplasticity, that our thoughts can change the structure and function of our brains, even into old age, is the most important breakthrough in our understanding of the brain in four hundred years."l
There are lots more.
(Just to be clear, my opinion, and
this is opinion because at this time there are no scientific proofs of this,
only my clear conviction after much prayer and seeking God, that the biological
differences between men and women are, far from being evidence that they are
different kinds or species of beings, rather designed primarily for a two-fold
purpose: to cement the conjugal relationship between a husband and wife through
the act of sexual union, and to provide "Godly offspring" (Malachi 2:15)
for God, that is, reproduction. I believe it's best when both purposes are
fulfilled, but it's still within God's design if only one is, such as when a
couple is barren. I further believe that both men and women may fulfill God's
individual purpose for them without making use of this biological difference.
But I'm not going to say anything more on that just now. Leave that discussion
for another time. I'm just posting it to clarify where I stand on biological
differences.)
Mabel posted a challenge here a few
months back asking anyone to come up with even one non-biological trait that
was true of all members of one gender but not the other. No one could give even
one. Quite a few people opined that certainly biology must influence
psychology, but when pressed couldn't provide even one specific example of a
non-biological gender-mandated trait. I'll bet no one still can.
Sure there can be averages. But
averages do not make a rule, and in this case when there are average
non-biological differences between men and women it is the result of the
majority buying into the myth that there are differences. But when there are
many exceptions to any so-called rule, there is in fact no rule. Such is the
case with gender.
And there are many, many exceptions
to the notions of "feminine" or "masculine." so many in
fact that there is no rule that all males or all females have any specific
psychological, mental, character or personality traits or characteristics that
pertain only to their gender and not the other. "Masculinity" and
"femininity" are entirely manmade myths, just as Jim Crow represented
a racial myth. Differences between people are individual only, not determined by gender. And even biology is fluid, or there would be no androgynous or intersex people. Did God make a mistake when He created them?
Food for thought: if we celebrated
individuality instead of emphasizing gender differences, what might become of
the tragic people we see who suffer so much mental and emotional anguish, many
eventually mutilating their bodies based on the false idea that they were
somehow put into the wrong one? What if they were allowed, no encouraged to
express their real selves in the body in which they were born? What if the
world no more taught (and tried to enforce) what is "feminine" or
"masculine" and instead allowed people to just be who they are?
It's time we get over emphasizing
supposed differences. I don't want to play silly gender games, nor gather
together only with my own gender because the other one is so
"different." It's not. Women really can talk to men, and men to women
about personal things, and understand each other. I know. I've done and do it.
But others won't know that until they try, pushing past the initial discomfort
to the place of finding that we really are all alike after all. As long as we
perpetuate the myth that we can't understand each other because of our
respective genders, and refuse to try, that long will we continue to be divided
instead of coming together in unity. And ultimately unity is what Jesus Himself
desired for His people, what He prayed for to His father. And that is the whole
point. Unity. Not division. Not difference. Not divisiveness. Unity.
Chris, thank you for taking the time to site your sources and being thorough with your reply. I LOVE gender talk, I LOVE sociology so all of this gets me going.
ReplyDeleteA few things that you pointed out I most definitely agree with "those identifying themselves as egalitarians who argue most vehemently in favor of recognizing some kind of innate gender differences are often those who either fit the traditional gender stereotypes themselves". Yes I agree with the differences because I've experienced them in my life. Not just that but I also through prayer felt God urging me to be the woman He made me. For so long I wanted to be a guy, I hated being a woman and having a feminine figure because it hindered me from doing things. But then God blessed me with the opportunity to use the body he gave me to bring life into this world and nourish it through that same body. I was astounded at this call that had been placed on me. My husband witnessed this gift but his experience was different and will always be different. He will never know the gift of giving birth and nursing. Womanhood was something also that my husband did not experience that profoundly changed my outlook on life and my view of myself. I know though that many women do not experience what I've described through becoming a mother and they feel it is just another thing that happens like the setting of the sun. But for me personally...becoming a mother changed the way I see the world, women, God and myself. To say that this difference of becoming a mother is the same as becoming a father is not true in my eyes. I've yet to speak to a father that can talk mother talk. I don't know a man that lost all his dignity, gained vulnerability and knows self sacrifice like a mother does. Each person has a measure of faith, each creation serves God's purpose. I know that my experience is something God deemed. You don't have to agree with it but I don't think there's anything wrong with my experiences being different than yours. I don't agree with discounting others experiences because they don't match up with your revelations. You may not feel any different than a man but I sure as heck do. Another issue I have is that of race as you stated. No we are not different because of the color of our skin. However our point of view can change according to our experiences being a certain race. This should not be ignored or taken for granted. If people are to heal from emotional scars of gender differences and race differences how about we discuss those and bring them to light? Instead of thinking we should pretend we haven't been affected by our society.
I am in an interracial marriage and ignoring our differences of background caused strife not healing. I had to come to grips with my race/culture effecting my style of talking, thinking, and processing. My husband doesn't talk or think like a poor mexican so that can cause some confusion to say the least. I also have a hard time understanding if androgyny=egal then why doesn't homosexuality=egal? This is a topic that I have wrestled with but still don't understand. If we have no differences then homosexuality is most definitely not a sin by any means and should be encouraged within the church. The body of Christ most definitely needs to unify and understand each other. But honestly I think there's a whole lot of healing and processing that needs to happen. Some honestly don't need to heal and they are fine to move forward but others like myself need to talk it and walk it out. I believe in giving people a safe place within the church to understand the effects of society on us. Many of us that are scarred are not comfortable opening up these vulnerable areas to just anyone or anywhere. Which is where the patience and recognition of these subtle differences can help. If it's not your calling to help people in this way fine no problem. But I don't agree with assuming others are misguided for seeing this type of need. We are a body with many parts they will not all serve the same purpose and that is wonderful. We should celebrate our differences and our different experiences because I believe thats what Christ would have us do and that's what gives the body of Christ some flavor. Maybe I'm just ignorant or maybe I'm just not at the stage you are at but for whatever reason God put me on the path that I am on and I am so thankful for it.
ReplyDeleteHm, my comment in reply to Celina this morning didn't post here. Guess it went to email instead, so I'll just post it here to keep the thread together.
ReplyDeleteCelina, you are very passionate in your comments. Just one thing: the differences you cite, particularly motherhood, are biological. You'll notice I have made a distinction between biological and non-biological traits.
Nevertheless, I disagree when you claim that the experience of motherhood forever sets women apart from men. That's only one part of a woman's life experience; it's not her whole identity. And what about women who have never given birth? (By the way, I have two children, and two grandchildren, so I'm in the "club," but it doesn't change a thing I've said.)
The very fact that as genders, or races, we have different experiences is all the more reason to come together. So your husband doesn't understand women who have given birth, or poor Mexicans? He never will if you associate only with other mothers and poor Mexicans.
You have misunderstood me. I did not state there are no differences between people. What I said was that non-biological differences are not due to gender, and are not intrinsic, inherent or immutable. I also suggested we come tohether, not to pretend we are all alike, but to celebrate and share our unique, individual differences, unconstrained by gender (or racial or any other) stereotypes, free to be the unique individuals we are regardless of the body in which we have to live.
On my phone now, hard to type too much, which is probably a good thing lol! But I'll cogitate a bit and perhaps be able come up with a better way to say what I'm saying, to make it a little more clear.